My Writing Journey Pt1.
Updated: Jul 3, 2018
Almost 2 years ago, for reasons I may never know, I picked up my phone, opened the ‘notes’ application and started writing, and writing, and writing. Not fully understanding why I was doing this, becoming overwhelmed and lost in the amount of content I had created, I decided to email to myself what I had written. I copied and pasted those words into a word document on my laptop, and from there I was instantly hooked. I became obsessed with something, which at the time - I honestly didn't realise would turn into a book. I couldn't stop myself from pouring my past out onto the virtual pages of my laptop. As cliche as this sounds, it's almost as if I was catching up on lost diary entries.
Although this is hard to explain, I became interested in what I was writing. I found myself wanting to know what was going to happen next, even though I was the person doing the writing, and what I had written about were experiences I had already lived! ...Strange huh?
Anyway... I continued to write. I started writing in late 2016 and finished in mid 2018. Throughout the whole process, I was always so nervous that what I had written didn't make any sense at all. I have never, EVER done anything like this, so it was really hard for me to gauge the quality of my work and know if it was 'good' or not. What made it worse was how hidden I kept this journey from everyone. The LIMITED people I chose to show my words to continued to give me great feedback, constantly telling me I needed to keep writing, however even with other people telling me that my words made sense, for some reason I still didn't believe in myself. Luckily, this wasn't enough to stop me and I continued to write every day. I had so much to say, that most of the time I would just rapid-fire a jumbled mess onto the pages that filled my laptop screen. I couldn't move my fingers fast enough to catch up with the movements of my mind.
Detailing my full writing journey could actually fill the pages of another book, or at least a short story. From start to finish, the whole experience has been life-changing. I've cried, gotten angry at myself, missed so many hours of sleep, fallen asleep on my laptop more than on my pillow, and came so close to hitting the delete button, forgetting everything and walking away from it all.
I guess, taking it back to 2016 where the journey began, I had found my creative release that was obviously well overdue to surface. What I hadn't realised was how much this 'release' would actually impact my life. In the early stages of my writing, I would stop and laugh, thinking, "...You're going to write a book? It's just not possible. You can't spell, and you don't understand punctuation or grammar". Regardless of this, something would not let me stop. That 'something' was my passion for the story I have to tell. The writing journey into the unknown was never overwhelming, however always felt so foreign. Today, I still pinch myself, waiting to ‘wake up’ from the ‘dream’...