My Writing Journey Pt5
"The looking at me like I wish that they would'nt, Like what if they hate it, what if I don't make it, what if I let you down, when you put the faith in". Doubble L - Clouds
I continued, pasting my thoughts to the virtual sheets of paper in my laptop. Connecting fingers to keyboard searching for answers within my life, while discovering how my past experiences could help others. I had no idea where this writing may take me, I only ever knew I needed to get it out. Each keystroke made was getting me closer to,...hmm, well, the finish line? It wasn't until nearing the end of pouring my heart felt emotions out into my laptop that I had the feeling of "wholly shit", am I writing a book?, thinking to myself 'how is this even possible?'. To this day 07/07/2018 waiting in limbo for my book to be edited if questioned on how I wrote a book, I struggle to give an answer, I guess through my eyes I find it hard to say 'I know how to write a book' because most days I feel I don't. What I do know is how to use my keyboard as an emotional release. Doing this resulted in the words that came together to create "The Power Of The Fuck You Work Ethic".
Although this journey has been a great emotional release, creating ways for me to overcome some of my fears and mental heath issues, i've always gone into this journey wanting to help others. Once I had worked out my writing had the ability to provide others clarity in there situations I new this was my destiny and there would be no stopping me.
There were plenty of days I wanted to chuck it all in, so many times I actually didn't believe what I was writing would make sense. If it did flow and was easy to read I would start thinking about people reading my words wondering, will they get it? how have I written something so different that people are able to relate to?. Everything to do with self doubt during this journey I have though of it. Ive always been very stubborn and determined when I set my mind to something. In saying this there have been plenty of times I have reached breaking points, faced situations that I have chosen to accept and not push past. This journey, my writing, its different. Regardless of what I have been faced with or how many times I have had a dummy spit and wanted to throw it all down the drain i've bounced back and this is how I know when you find your passion, when you love what you do, when you truly want "it" more than that next breath of fresh air nothing will stop you, there will be no backing down, there will be no quitting or failing. There will be learning, adjusting and winning!